This will (somewhat) chronicle the next, and so far best, chapter in my life! I've moved to Hockessin, DE with an amazing woman that I am happy to call my fiance, and soon my wife. I also have a great house, dog, and couldn't be happier!

22 July 2008

There are few things worse than...

Hair. In the pool. For all you swimmers out there, you know exactly what I mean. It happened last night AND this morning. There I am, just swimming my laps and all of a sudden, my fingers are woven together. I try to quickly get rid of it, only to find that it's now spread to my watch and somehow intertwined with the band and the rest of my fingers...and now to the hand I'm trying to rescue myself with. It's like I was wearing some sort of primitive handcuffs. And you can't quickly get rid of it - forget about that. It stays with you longer than garlic breath.

Just when you think you're in the clear, you start swimming again and go to turn your head to breathe. That's when it hits you that you might as well be breathing through a piece of cheesecloth. Is this what waterboarding is like? Ugghhhh. It's disgusting! Hair, draped across your face. THAT sucks because now you're stopped in the middle of the lane, spasming as if an Alien just latched on to your face and started laying eggs in your stomach. No matter how hard you try, you can't get rid of it...it just doesn't die! You continue flailing about as if possessed. The people around you start to head for the exits, and the lifeguard calls for an old priest and a young priest...

So for all the men and women with long hair out there - please keep those swim caps on! I'd almost rather swim through sewage than go through that again.

2 comments:

Holly said...

Oh, Dear Lord. I'm SO glad I was finished with my lunch when I read this. FULL-BODY SHUDDER.

~nma~ said...

eeww. That is pretty disgusting. But I keep my long hair in a swim cap, so please don't get mad at me :)