Armour's 10 Axioms of Exercise

I have been working out pretty regularly, for many years. In the last five years, I've gotten serious about it, so I feel that I can now lay down a few of my own observances...re: laws! This is the initial list. More to come...

1. Regardless of what the wind is doing when you step out of your house, 95% of the time, it will be in your face when you begin any run or ride.
2. 90% of the time, it will also be in your face on the way back....
3. If you are on the phone at the same time you're exercising...you aren't exercising.
4. If you are a Weight Watcher (one who stands around acting as if they're searching for an open machine or bench...all the while not lifting anything heavier than a water bottle), you deserve to have your gym membership revoked. Get out of the way.
5. Gyms (especially at 0500) are not the place to hit on others. If someone is at the gym that early, leave them alone - they're serious. Come back in the afternoon with the Weight Watchers.
6. If you have your iPod, headphones, etc. on so loud that you can't hear me courteously shout, "on your left!" as I am preparing to pass you on my bike; then you deserve to have the sh*t scared out of you as I go whipping by you at 24 mph, coming within centimeters of removing your left arm, or severing your yippy little dog in half. Listen up - it's dangerous out there.
7. Just because you are an older gym member, it does not give you the right to rescind all modesty in the locker room. Seriously. I'd love to hear your stories over a beer sometime. But not while I'm sitting down trying to tie my shoes....and you're standing there naked, trying to relate a story. For God's Sake, cover yourself! And use a towel when you sit on the bench!!!!
8. If you consider floating back and forth in the lap pool, coasting on others' drag - swimming, it's not. Get out. Now. Go float around in the hot tub or just lay in the grass a while. We need those lanes!
9. Stop shouting. Stop grunting. I understand we all make a little noise with exertion when we lift, but screaming and yelling, "..yeah, get it, get it..." at the top of your lungs? Really? Save it buddy. Unless you're buff enough to do this and make money, shut the F up.
10. Mirrors exist in the gym so that you can check your form while you lift. Period. Hey Mr. and Mrs. Vanity - if you like the way you look so g-damn much, go home, oil each other up, flex in the mirror and take pictures so you can have them with you all the time. Now get the hell out of my way so I can get a workout!

Okay, enough venting. Just a few observations I've bottled up! I go to a fairly pretentious gym (L.A. Fitness) and on any given day, I notice most of these gym traits.... What are these people like in real life, I wonder?